Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Life- Just now thought of this :)

My life is like a swinging door, you walk out on me, you walk right through that swinging door, it comes back to hit me in the face, reminding me of everything I did wrong to make you leave, to make you not want to stay, to make you never want to see me again.
 My life is like a swinging door, it doesn't stop swinging as soon as someone walks through it, it keeps going, back and forth, back and forth, getting slower and slower as the person who walked through it becomes a spot in the distance, never to be seen or heard from again. 
  My feelings represent a swinging door, my emotions go back and forth, back and forth, unable to decide who deserves to be in my life, who really wants to be with me or who just wants to pull my strings back and forth, back and forth until my feelings and emotions are in their control. 
   I stand too close to the swinging door, too desperate to turn my back on the ones who turn their back on me, not afraid of getting smacked in the face, yet too afraid to leave the swinging door, in case they ever decide to walk through it again. 
  Why can't I leave? Why can't I turn around and walk away like everyone else in my life has done? Why can't I move on from the past, meet new people, let my guard down in hopes that one day my door will stop swinging and I can finally lock it and throw away the key? 
    I stand to far away from the swinging door, too timid and frightened of who is gonna walk through it next. Could it be him? Could it be her? Will they stay for a while and knock me down some more? Or will he leave me again, with the promise of seeing me very soon?
  My life is no longer like a swinging door. You walk out on me, don't you ever come back because whatever made you leave in the first place is always going to be there and it's always going to be apart of me. My door will slam and lock right behind you so don't you dare think about turning around, about saying your sorry. My forgiving days are over and you will never again take advantage of my vulnerability, of my shyness. 

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